How to Annoy the IRSAlways put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a row down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).
Line the bottom of your envelope with elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it’s on. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if it’s just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date stamped.
What's the deal with the blurring line?
For example, I am quite certain that Marcellus really never was the same after The Robe.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Tax Day
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2 comments:
I Love Love Love this!! It is only too appropriate for those of us who have to write nasty checks every year. My only concern is that I will be faced with an obnoxious audit if I draw this much attention to myself (as tempting as it is!)
If you are writing checks, at least you are keeping the money until the last possible date. That's better than having the government "give" you a refund.
I dare not identify myself lest it be analogous to lifting my head above the radar.
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